hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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