So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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