Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
