So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
