i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
