No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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