You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
