This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
