Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
