i may or may not be watching the land before time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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