She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
