My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
