Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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