oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
