in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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