it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
