No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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