I just made out with a guy for $7.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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