I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This show inspires me to have sex in space
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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