I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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