sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
