If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
