nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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