pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
