Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize