sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
