I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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