i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm always down for nudity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
