Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
