That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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