Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
