Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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