Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
