at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
