if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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