so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
