guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
