The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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