the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
