just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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