Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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