I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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