If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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