Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
