you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize