It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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