just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
