Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
