I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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