do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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