just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm always down for nudity.
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