Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
