We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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