When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
