this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
