He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
