sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
