No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
