Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
