apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i will never coherently bang her
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
