ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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